Before anyone reads this list, I would like to point out that this list was created for those who have been (Like I have) told that I hate Dane Cook because he is famous. I know I am not the only one out there who does not like this guy. And in this list I tried to be as logical as I could and not just rip this guy a new one because I can. That would be rude. I think I make valid points. If you disagree I suggest you get a job writing for a blog on the internet as well.
"Good comedy helps people know they're not alone. Great comedy provides an answer."- Bill Hicks
5- He (probably) steals jokes
This is a huge internet debate. And there is reason to believe this claim because the evidence is somewhat compelling. Stealing jokes is the worst crime in comedy. You just don't do it. If you're caught it's like wearing the scarlet letter around your neck. I've seen comedians kicked out of clubs because of that. Some of his material is really close to Louis C.K. who is a comedian from the same city as Cook. In my opinion I think they are too close to call, but I have seen comics touch on similar topics with almost the same accuracy in terms on content. I mentioned this fact to a Superfan and was told in response "That he did [Louis C.K's] material better anyway". If that's how people are going to look at things then go ahead. Even if he didn't steal his jokes verbatim the material is uninspired.
We live in a capitalist society where we're presented with a multitude of options, no matter what our hearts desire. Sometimes that's a bad thing, as we've got a dearth of unnecessary shit in our lives. Here's the seven things that we could use a little less of in the world.
7- Non-alcoholic beers
Nobody buys beer for the taste. They buy it because it's the standard bearer for getting shitfaced. Almost every functioning alcoholic slowly developed a taste for beer, and the OMGList staff is no exception. That's why we're puzzled by the proliferation of non-alcoholic beers. As in, why is there more than one brand? There's only two reasons to purchase non-alcoholic beers. The first, and more unlikely reason is if you truly crave the taste of beer but can't indulge for some reason (What else can a busdriver drink on a hot summer day?). The second reason is to completely ruin a kegger, Freaks and Geeks style. Neither reason requires a diversity in selection. In fact, the only byproduct of the wide variety of non-alcoholic beers is that members of the normal beer-drinking populace are more likely to pick up a six-pack of these affronts to alcohol, especially while under the influence, when one's ability to take in printed information is at a low.
When I started up OMGLists less than two months ago, I figured it would be a neat way to explore my obsession with pop-culture that would hopefully find a few readers. Turns out I was wrong. It was an awesome way to explore my obsession with pop-culture that found a lot of readers. Thanks to a crack-team of excellent listographers, we've put out some excellent content in 2007. Here's my seven favorite lists we've done, and a few words on why each one was so dang great.
7- The 6 Sweetest Save Points in Gaming
This was the first list we ever published, way back in the salad days of November 2007. It's a gaming list, which is my personal forte, and like my other favorite gaming list (The 8 Blatant Load Screen Coverups) it proved near-impossible to find adequate screenshots for. Turns out gaming companies don't willingly provide pictures of save points and load screens to the press. If I do nothing else in 2008, I will make them change that.
Most of you have been there (and those of you too young to drink will soon find out for yourselves): you've had too much to drink and suddenly, drunk-logic takes hold of your mind. This is when you see start to see things in a different light and things that normally wouldn't make sense when you're sober suddenly seem like a totally good idea. It is in celebration of this inebriated state of mind that we present to you the top 7 things that only make sense after you've flooded your system with bacteria piss, aka alcohol.
With New Years around the corner, you're likely to imbibe a few spirits to celebrate. Please make sure to keep away from these stupid moves you're likely to make while drunk.
7- Drinking crappy beer
Unless you're a drunk or a college frat boy, chances are you won't go near crappy beer. We're talking about the stuff that costs like a dollar fifty for a six-pack. You turn your nose up at it and say things like, "Dude, that crap tastes like a diabetic's piss." And rightly so because crappy beer sucks. But when you're drunk, it doesn't matter what it says on the label: so long as it'll maintain your buzz, you'll suck it down like it was Coca-Cola. Hell, they could juice a skunk's ass and put it in a bottle and you'd probably take a swig if you were drunk enough, wouldn't you? Speaking of which, isn't it about time you called your AA sponsor?
Holiday shopping can be tough for everyone, but it's especially tough if your loved is not interested in consumer goods. Is your BFF more interested in the fate of the boreal forests in Canada? Would your mom rather have you volunteer at a soup kitchen? Whether or not they are kind-hearted, conservationists or just plain hard to shop for, here is our list of alternative gifts for the Do-gooder in your life.
6. One Laptop per Child
The One Laptop per Child mission is to bring affordable laptops to children of developing countries. This program has caused a stir upon its announcement and is finally up and running. Up until December 31st, OLPC is offering a Give One Get One program. When you donate a laptop to a child, you can get one for your own lil' tyke. That's two laptops for $399 ($200 of it is tax-deducible). The laptop runs on Linux, so you're also saving two people from Microsoft's awful Windows Vista OS. Another cool thing is that T-Mobile is offering one year of free HotSpot access for participants of this program.
Another good choice: Room to Read gift membership
I'm an online dater. I'm not ashamed to admit it--in fact I consider myself to be somewhat of an expert. In my time spent perusing the virtual meat-market I've figured out that this particular populace can be divided into two camps: People who are too busy to meet others in their limited spare time ("The Losties" or "Main Cast") and those who can't meet other people due to extreme social awkwardness and a tendency to live in mother's basement ("The Tailies").
After spending many an evening sipping bad martinis and suffering through conversations about the perfect golf swing, "Magic: The Gathering" and the latest in ball gag technology (all separate occasions, of course), I decided it was time to take my hard-earned internet dating capital and get listy. If one of the following winks, pokes, woos or shows up in your inbox, run in the opposite direction, or you may just get eaten by a polar bear.
Why is it that todays cool is yesterdays irony. I mean, celebrities wearing dead mice as a fashion statement? Ironic. Huffing the most disgusting brew of human waste to get high? Ironic. The list even lists lists as one of this years worst trends, how ironic!
Howdy, list fans, and welcome to your one-stop shop for pop-culture listery goodness. Here at OMGLists, we've assembled a crack staff of media junkies who are dedicated to churning out the most hilarious and bizarre lists possible. Need more reason to visit? How about our top-notch commentary on the internet's most popular lists, which we've termed "Listentary?" We've already got a great slate of lists on the site, with our choicest picks below. So "list"-en up and enjoy!
Before the age of highly refined and comprehensive search engines, people had to play the URL guessing game in order to find their favorite sites. What would begin as a trivial romp through the web would often turn into a terrifying journey into the depths of misrepresented websites. Why, when I'm looking for some sweet scat porn, do I get some boring corporate website? We sympathize with the weary internet traveler. That's why we're listing the most misrepresented and poorly named websites on the net. Get ready for the seven most misleading URLs.
7. Sausagefest.com
A sausage fest is one of the most unfavorable situations for your standard heterosexual male. For that reason I suspect that not many guys would be trying to visit sausagefest.com. However, it turns out that sausagefest.com is a great destination for anyone. The site advocates grillin' up sausages, (the edible kind) and partying with friends in the annual Sausage Fest. But wait, what if Sausage Fest turns out to be a sausage fest?!
The overall feeling: Confused elation with a hint of disgust.
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