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Celebrities love money. Sure, there are a few weirdos out there who perform their respective crafts because they honestly love their work and want to excel (I'm looking at you Daniel Day Lewis!) but most of them are open to any means to bring more wealth into their grotesquely gigantic bank accounts. That's why celebrities gladly slap their face onto any product that will earn them a few bucks, no matter how strange. Sometimes these pairings lead to the George Foreman Grill, but most of the time they lead to the kind of awful listed below.

6. Trump Steaks

As part of his mission to put his brand name on anything remotely related to wealth, Trump has plastered his name on skyscrapers, casinos, champagne and even premium bottled water. But declaring his own line of steaks just goes too far. What exactly makes a steak a member of the Trump family? Solid gold branding irons and diamond encrusted bone-saws in the most luxurious slaughter-house in the country? Judging by his smug, evil grin and self-satisfied finger point I'm beginning to suspect that it's really a plate of chopped and grilled Rosie O'Donnell.

5. WWF Superstars Ice Cream Bars

When an ugly bearded dude nicknamed "Mouth of the South" tells you to lick anything, you should be incredibly wary. But when he's referring to other WWF superstars with the slogan "Once you lick'em you're gonna love 'em!" you know its trouble. There are few things that can ruin a delicious ice cream bar, but a picture of a unitard clad Hulk Hogan flexing is most definitely one of those few things. I don't care what the actual ice cream flavor is, as far as I'm concerned that bar is going to taste like a frozen chunk of baby oil and sweat dipped in a coating of horse steroids.

4. Paris Hilton's Books

Let's be honest, these books that Paris Hilton has "written" are really nothing more than manuscripts her agent read and agreed to attach her name to. Many colorful activities come to mind when reflecting on Paris' much publicized lifestyle, but amidst cocaine and falling down on the red carpet, reading and writing really aren't among them. Not to mention the self-reflection and struggles with life that goes into writing a book. Let's not forget that this is the same Paris Hilton who, after being released from her prison stint, told Larry King that the one thing she didn't like about herself was that sometimes her voice got high pitched when she was nervous. A book actually written by that person might read like a middle school student's diary. With entire pages consisting of "that's hot" written in different fonts of course.

3. 50 Cent Condoms

Rappers make no qualms about their desire to make money. Many of them base their entire artistic careers on their unabashed goals of getting more rich and famous than anyone else. So it's no surprise that rappers have their faces plastered on everything from energy drinks to potato chips. But 50 Cent having his own line of condoms is a bit extreme. Is there anything that would indicate to anyone that 50 Cent is a reliable source for birth control? I don't think he's taking studio breaks to rush down for clinical studies. Plus, out of every celebrity out there, why would you choose to buy a condom endorsed by a man made famous for having a bunch of holes shot through him?

2. Old Yeller Dog Food

There are countless Hollywood dogs whose cute puppy faces could adorn pet food products. Hell, even the pug from Men In Black is a better mascot for dog food than Old Yeller. Pet owners want to know hat their canine cuisine is nutritious and healthy for their four legged friends so they can live into their ripe old dog years. But don't let Old Yeller's smiling face on the bag fool you, he's famous for anything but. Anyone with a passing knowledge of the movie knows that Old Yeller becomes rabid and has to be shot in the head by his young owner in a horrific display of Disney's early cruel love of crushing children's spirits. So instead of hoping your pup's chow is keeping a nice sheen on their fur, you'll instead hesitantly fill the bowl, praying that today isn't the day you're dog is turned into a foaming savage thirsty for blood.

1. NASCAR Romance Novels

First things first; none of the real NASCAR celebrities are actually in these books. I suppose even the enterprising young book publishers who decided to corner the "lonely white trash housewife (who can read)" audience deemed that concept too creepy. Which explains why they refused to publish my saucy tale of a Wal-Mart employee who becomes entangled in a steamy affair with Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the ghost of Dale Earnhardt. But even without actual NASCAR drivers gracing the covers these are perhaps the low-mark for printed literature. If Johann Gutenberg could only see into the future he may have reconsidered even inventing the printing press. At least these romance novels prove one thing: no matter what anyone says about NASCAR fans, there is no way of topping the way they mock themselves.

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