OMG Lists.com

Listening to the dialog and music the director of a movie intended you to hear? Or the commentary tracks by the cast and crew that worked so hard on the film? You fool! There's plenty of other sources of aural entertainment that will entertain and inform just as much as anything else on your Special Edition DVDs.

5- Music Albums

Music can be a powerful tool if used correctly. It can set the mood of a particular scene and help augment the visuals and the spoken dialogue. Tension, levity, tenderness, anger, sorrow-all of these emotions and more can be conveyed simply through the proper use of music. But sometimes, music can be used to alter a film's meaning. By syncing a custom soundtrack with a movie, you can radically change the viewing experience. The most famous example, of course, is to sync up Pink Floyd's "The Wall" with The Wizard of Oz. The otherwise disparate "stories" combine to form something that transcends the originals; if you haven't tried it for yourself, you really should, preferably while you're in college, in a dorm room lit only with blacklights and with a nice quantity of "alternative tobacco" on hand.

Of course, the mash-up trick isn't just limited to psychedelic rock and dancing munchkins: you can park yourself on your couch and experience the freaky majesty that is The Ozzercist (Black Sabbath plus The Exorcist) and the sacrilegiously groovy Jesus and The Tramp (the movie Jesus watched to a Supertramp accompaniment). There are also a million other potential snyc-ups just waiting to be discovered, so break out your DVD and CD collections and get to work; you're bound to stumble upon an audio/visual combination that's sure to blow your mind.

4- Fan Commentary

So yeah, you and your friends are good at sitting around making jokes during a film, or better yet, y'all even know a few neat trivia facts about the film. "Dude, check it out, if you look really close in this scene you can see the shark's rubber teeth bend while it totally bites Quint in half!" or "Did you guys know that Eric Stoltz was originally cast to play Marty McFly?" "But what if I don't have any friends to come over and make witty banter with me while we watch a movie together?" you may ask. Well have no fear, you RPG-loving freak! The site sharecrow.com has you covered! Hundreds of movies and tv shows have been uploaded with commentary created by knowledgeable and (if you're lucky) witty fans and compiled in this one place. So now you can watch your favorite ALF DVD and enjoy the inane and hopefully humorous accompanying track-or even create your own to share with the world!

3- Rifftrax

One of the prime examples of funny movie commentary comes from the professional adlibbing of Mike J. Nelson and his show MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000 for those of you not in "the know"). While the show itself has been dead and gone for many years now, the idea behind their work still remains in the form of Rifftrax. Nelson has brought together his fellow comedic geniuses from MST3K and developed tracks of commentary to play alongside your muted movie. Just fork over some dough, download the tracks, sync them to your movie and totally dig the laughs. From Jurassic Park to Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Matrix Reloaded to Star Wars, chances are if you've seen it and liked it, they'll probably have riffed it-and you're gonna love it.

2- Master Pancake

Think of all the fun you can have while trying out the above entries. Now think of all the entertainment those comedic commentaries and musical accompaniments would bring if they were mixed together and experienced live. That, my web-addicted and dateless friends, is the very premise behind Master Pancake. These guys used to be called Mister Sinus Theater, but then they were sued by the aforementioned Mr. Nelson and broke up as a result. Apparently he thought their titles were too similar. Funny how a guy with a show that makes fun of other shows doesn't like it when another show makes fun of his show. Weird. Bitter much, Mike? The group hails from Alamo, Tejas (remember that), and performs their show pretty much every Friday and Saturday. The ridiculed movie changes regularly and upcoming features include: Back to the Future, E.T., Planet of the Apes and the Day After Tomorrow. These guys make bad movies feel so good-and they do it live! How could it possibly get any better?

1- Wizard People, Dear Readers

THIS is how it gets better. I've seen some pretty funny shit in my life, but this Harry Potter remake absolutely, hands-down beats anything I've ever experienced. The comedic author and illustrator Brad Neely created "Wizard People" to be watched in conjunction with a muted "Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone." Neely narrates his own screenplay in a voice reminiscent of a 62 year old miner who spent the better part of his life smoking, drinking, and panning for gold in the hot dusty sun. Not only does he rename all the characters, but he manages to take this sappy Warner Brother's piece that was nearly killed by Chris Columbus and turn it into an f-bomb laden, adults-only cult classic. Just check out a little snippet describing Harry's trip to Gringott's:

They enter the foyer amongst the evil, pasty hobbity-uff goody goblins. They are running the money show; clever turnips, these needleteeth. Imagine a human of about three years of age with antler-like nose and ears, and a jellyfish draped over its head, then stuffed into a leprechaun suit....Soon, they are riding to the vaults on a roller coaster. The grossest looking humanoid in the world tries to scuttle around on its moon-shaped limbs. It tries to remain cool and orders Hagar and Harry to follow it....It unlocks the door and backs away trying to resemble what it thinks is a cool looking person, but in reality it is freaking Harry and Hagar out miserably. The door of the vault swings open and right away starts to blow the socks off Harry P. Hagar makes noises out of his mouth but Harry is not a-vailable. The piles of gold that are his instantly make everything beautiful for Harry...."It's going to be OK," he thinks....Now on to yet another vault....The leprechaun lifts a clawed finger up and down, tickling the door's back enough that it unclenches in its threshold and swings open not to reveal a pile of treasure, but to reveal a silly little gunnysack. Hagar walks in, snatches up the gunnysack and stows it away on his humongous person.

'This is between you, me, and the little Paddy McGross-Out, ok, HP?'

Don't worry though Harry-heads, the story remains intact enough so that he comes out the hero both at Cribbage (Quiddich): "I am a beautiful animal! I am the destroyer of worlds! I am Harry Fucking Potter!" and after conquering Val-Mart (Voldemort): "I am gigantic! I am important and unavoidable!...This game is over when Harry says it's over, and no one else! Harry is the one who kills around here, and Harry has killed you! I killed you, dad!"

Words fail me. Now sign my petition to get Neely to make a retelling for "Chamber of Secrets."

• << prev
• next >>