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Top 5 Played-Out Phrases

Feb. 5 2:39 PM by Kate McNally

There are so many words being used and abused year-round that you really can't just limit the culling of such vocab to the end of the December. Most annoying words and phrases go away on their own (e.g. "par-tay," "that's hot," variations of "-ILF," etc) but some just need to be dragged out into the conversation street and shot at dawn. Here are five such words.

5-Totes

Everytime I hear the word "Totes" I think of those fuzzy socks with the grippy bottoms my grandma used to wear. Turns out the Totes/Isotoner company has expanded its merchandise beyond no-skid socks to include such handy-dandy items as umbrellas and ponchos. Rihanna even has her own special line of umbrellas ('brellas, 'ellas, 'ellas...). So it surprised me when I started hearing "totes" used in a manner that didn't fit in with socks, galoshes, 'brellies, or slippers. Much to my surprise (and chagrin) some folks have been using "totes" instead of "totally." Huh? Why? What did "totally" ever do to earn a place in verbal time out? Nobody puts "totally" in the corner. The time has come for totes to go the way of those worn out fuzzy slippers and skid on outta here.

4- Cougar

There's nothing good to be said about this word. Why it was started, I don't know. Why it persists, I can't explain. But what I do know is that the old women labeled "cougars" are not hot. Some older women can be very attractive, but they usually aren't the ones hunting down much younger men like wounded prey! (Noted exception: Anne Bancroft in "The Graduate" and even that's iffy.) The ones I'm talking about are not only old, but made of plastic and covered in so much Estee Lauder that if they even stray near an open flame they're likely to go up faster than SoCal in October. There's nothing sadder than an old woman wasting her Social Security pension on some young guy because he tells her "grey is the new blonde" and can keep it up without the aid of Viagra. We're shooting this "cougar" thing dead before it grows any more rabid.

3- Metrosexual

This word has pissed me off since its inception way back in...well...whenever the hell it was "invented." Let's think about what compromises the typical "metro" shall we? Well-groomed, clean and trimmed nails, clean cut or nicely kept facial hair, pleasant smelling.....this isn't some crazy new idea--IT'S CALLED GOOD HYGIENE!!!!!! Since when did wallowing in filth become the acceptable standard, nay, social norm for the modern man? And why does caring about one's personal appearance call into question one's sexuality? Just because a man happens to go to a professional to keep up appearances doesn't mean he should be classified as a different "type" of man, nor should he be held up as the next step in the evolution of the species. Let's just call them "guys" like the rest of the world. .

2- Ron Paul

"Who the f*ck is this guy," you may ask? I know I did. Thinking about looking him up online? Don't bother-I already did so dont waste your time. What I found was not only thoroughly disappointing, but it's now making my daily commute into work that much more annoying due to all those obnoxious rainbow "Ron Paul 2008" signs strewn about the side of the road. He's some crazy conservative from Texas (I'll wait while you all reign in your surprise) who pretty much hates everyone who isn't just like him-white and with a penis. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, xenophobia, and all other kinds of "phobias" pretty much rule this guys platform (which I wish he'd just jump headfirst off of already) Do you really want a president that hates over 70.1% of the population (thanks US Census Bureau and 8th grade math skills!)? Me neither. Hopefully Super Tuesday will be the end of random, rampant Ron Paul references. .

1- Cool

I had a hard time accepting that the time had come for "cool" to die, but it had to be done. Think about it; what good has "cool" done for us? It's only created peer pressure ("don't you want to be 'cool' like the other kids?"), poor body image ("cool" girls swallow only their "cool" finger for lunch), advertising manipulation ("cool" athletes drink these over-priced "cool" drinks filled with "cool" performance enhancing "vitamins"), and so on. All for this vague and nebulous undefined image of "cool." Well I'm putting my foot down. No more "cool." No more cheap facades to encourage rampant consumerism. No more non-committal verbal shrugs to act as replies in conversation. Let's expand our vocabulary and put cool on ice for awhile.

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