The Top 6 Commercials That Deserve TV Shows Over ''Cavemen''

6. Trojan Man

The Commercial: Trojan Man, a "never shown besides an arm" character a la Dr. Claw, arrives in the nick of time to give young people condoms.

The Pitch: With the popularity of "Heroes", networks are realizing the prime-time potential of superhero/ sci-fi franchises. What better way to cash in on this than giving Trojan Man his own series? Each episode will feature a new young couple finding themselves in the heat of the moment without a prophylactic in sight, when Trojan Man bursts through their wall and throws them a 12 pack. The rest of the show will be Trojan Man fighting the Pope and any other conservative that stands in the way of his pro-rubber agenda.

5. Enzyte Bob

The Commercial: Bob was sad and insecure until he found Enzyte, the all natural male enhancement. Now he permanently has a wide eyed grin etched into his face.

The Pitch: CSI has proven the popularity of the crime drama. Turn the tables and have one focus on the deranged killer the cops are hunting. With that creepy grin and enhanced genitalia, Bob would be the perfect deranged serial killer.It's not hard (heh) to imagine the murderous glee in those never blinking eyes. Put an attractive female cop on his tail constantly being taunted by him and you have the perfect formula. A little The Silence of the Lambs with a villain that mixes the best attributes of The Joker and American Psycho's Patrick Bateman.

4. What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar?

The Commercial: Regular folks on the street are put to the test regarding just how far they will go for a delicious ice cream treat.

The Pitch: A reality show where studio audience members are asked to perform in dangerous stunts and humiliating activities for a chance at a grand prize. The winners find out it was all for a Klondike bar. Hosted by Sinbad.

3. Tootsie Pop Gang

The Commercial: A young boy asks Mr. Turtle how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop. He can't answer and passes him on to Mr. Owl, who cruelly eats it.

The Pitch: A traditional 3 camera sitcom using heavy prosthetics. The young boy shares an apartment with Mr. Turtle, the senile old comic relief, and Mr. Owl, the bitter and aggravating know it all. Naturally hilarity ensues. Have them live above a restaurant that constantly tries to make soup out of Mr. Turtle and provide a working class neighbor that the arrogant Mr. Owl despises for comedy gold. Possible storylines: The Boy asks Mr., Owl how to beat a mission in GTA and he takes over the controller for hours. The Boy asks Mr. Owl for kissing techniques and Mr. Owl sleeps with his girlfriend. Endless possibilities.

2. The Magic Bullet

The Commercial: The Magic Bullet is a device for blending anything your heart desires.

The Pitch: A couple moves into their new house and find a Magic Bullet left behind in the basement. When they turn it on to blend some cilantro and wet walnut they find that it lives up to its name and is actually enchanted. The talking stream-lined blender is capable of magical feats and is a sarcastic wise-cracking smartass to boot. The government gets word about the mystical kitchen appliance and the family finds themselves all mixed up in trouble! They narrowly avoid capture in countless amusing ways, but it's not always easy for a disguised Magic Bullet to blend in! Other puns available upon request.

1. Olive Garden Couple

The Commercial: A woman arrives at Olive Garden looking for her date, describing him like a child. She then sees a little boy (we assume her son) waiting alone at a table. Presumably he is being forced to eat Olive Garden as some sort of parental punishment.

The Pitch:Let's remove the son aspect and go for the messed up secret family life fodder of a show like Big Love. In our show the older woman and little boy are a couple that has to try and keep their relationship secret to avoid public ridicule and legal action. All the while they will have to keep up their daily lives as a kindergarten student and a hot-shot lawyer aiming for partner at the city's best law firm. Watching a five year old deliver sappy, romantic lines while looking deeply into the woman's eyes will be worth tuning in alone. Though preferably this one won't be on HBO or Showtime. That could end in lawsuits all around.