Whether they're honoring, spoofing, or just plain avoiding Christmas, these seven fictional holidays almost match the spirit of the season with a weird twist all their own. Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or one of these, OMGLists wishes you a happy holiday!
Homestar Runner, Strong Bad and all the other citizens of Free Country, USA.
Every family has a black sheep, every class has a dunce, and every group of superheroes has a member who's operating a level far below their more talented teammates. The following 8 characters were the laughingstock of their respective groups, unable to prove their worth with their meager powers.
8-Aquaman from the Justice League
When you're a member of a team composed of Earth's greatest heroes, you ought to be pretty powerful as well, otherwise some ridicule might follow. And in the case of Aquaman, much ridicule seems to follow, usually preceding laughter and finger-pointing. These criticisms, however, are easily justified since blondie's superpowers consist of being able to talk to fish, and swimming well, while other members of his team are able to shoot frickn' laser beams from their eyes and freeze people with their ice-breath. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Aquaman's mom (Aquamom?) probably talked to the other Justice League members' mothers imploring them to allow Aquaman membership since "he's been having a real tough time making new friends." Only Superman is able to count the number of times Justice League members have rolled their eyes during the course of Aquaman's "exploits."
Sometimes a character immediately springs onto the screen as a fully formed version of what viewers desire. However, many times there has to be an evolutionary process that leads to a character becoming what we know and love years later. Here are 5 examples of characters that first appeared in a very different form than what we all remember.
5- George Costanza
Sure, George Costanza has always been neurotic and slightly annoying (not Kramer annoying, just slightly annoying), but the way that Jason Alexander chose to play him changed dramatically between the first episode and the last. In the first season of Seinfeld, George is basically a fatter, balder version of Woody Allen. Alexander even admit that he went with a Woody Allen impression for the voice and demeanor because apparently Woody has the "Jewish and neurotic" market cornered pretty well. However, once the show started progressing and Alexander grew to know the creators, he realized that George was essentially Larry David. So he switched his voice and expressions completely and began to play George as the perpetually annoyed and awkward Larry David. And that's how we got one of the best sitcom characters ever.
The prospect of a bearded old man breaking and entering into millions of homes is pretty scary, but when you call the guy Santa, suddenly it's okay. However, if you're talking about these 8 creepy versions of Saint Nick, then your mood may be considerably less merry.
8- Xanta Klaus
Unbeknownst to anyone who didn't watch the WWF during the early 90s, Santa Claus was born with a twin brother. And it's a scientific fact that when you have a pair of twins, one is good and one is evil. In the Clauses' case, it's very easy to distinguish the good from the evil, simply by observing their opposing features. For instance, the evil Klaus wears black, spells his name with the terrifying letters "X" and "K" and instead of giving away presents he steals them. He also enjoys clothes-lining shiny-chested, steroid-abusers in front of thousands of people for profit, but that has nothing to do with his twin. Based on his opposite behavioral patterns, one could assume that Xanta probably employs thousands of extremely tall men to break toys, yells "Oh! Oh! Oh!" prior to arriving at someone's home (presumably to steal and break their toys), and lives at the South Pole with his life partner, Steve. A children's book detailing Xanta's exploits is certainly due.
With the holidays approaching, you might be tempted to take the word of your fellow internet user when it comes to their opinion on products and businesses. Just make sure it's not one of the following types of morons writing it.
5- The Crappy Purchase Justifier
Wow. You just blew how much on an HDTV? Damn. And it's only 720p without an HDMI input? Unless you bought it in 2002, you got hosed, pal. Of course, that won't stop you from extolling the virtues of the bezel finish or the user-friendly remote on the CNET product page. But really, will it help you sleep at night knowing you've deceived potential customers to make you feel like less of a chump?
A bride's wedding day is meant to be a dream come true. But aren't dreams pretty messed up most of the time? For every one dream where you're riding a unicorn through a field of lollipops there are a hundred where all your teeth fall out or you find your gym teacher naked in your bathtub. Oh, just me? Well, the point is that sometimes your dream day is often a nightmare for everyone you invite. Especially if you try to spice it up with one of these theme weddings.
The Disney theme doesn't sound bad in theory. Who doesn't love Disneyland? People that are dead inside, that's who. And what better place to spend the most magical day of your life than in the most magical place on earth? That is until you have creepy, giant, unblinking, lifeless mouse faces staring you down during the most important moment in your life. Just because the giant cartoon mouse is wearing a tuxedo and top hat does not turn the occasion into a classy event. What is even worse is when you realize it is actually a couple of sweaty, underpaid, unemployed actors that hate you under those oversize heads. If you have to get married in the Magic Kingdom, why not on The Pirates of the Caribbean? Have that ominous skull read the vows before you make a literal plunge.
Life is full of awkward moments, but one era encapsulates all that is uncomfortable. Here are eight moments every adult is currently surpressing about his or her adolescence.
8- The public erection
When a male is first able to regularly achieve an erection, he'll find that it frequently occurs amongst congregations of people. Whether this is due to impure thoughts that are being had for the females in proximity, or just because the body wants to practice this new found and astounding ability is unclear. What we are certain of though, is how embarrassing it can be when achieved in the company of the elderly.
An awkward illustration:
Bobby is excited for this Sunday's church service because he knows that all the time spent practicing his solo is about to pay off. As he sits in the pew waiting for Pastor Todd to announce his performance and ask him to approach the head of the church, he can't help but notice how nervous and excited he's getting all at the same time; this is going to be some solo, Bobby pleasantly thinks to himself. As the moment arrives, and Pastor Todd gives him the nod, Bobby starts feeling something unusual happening in his pants. Not completely aware of what's taking place, Bobby continues towards the front, only to find that with each ongoing step his pants seem to be getting tighter and tighter. By the time Bobby reaches the front of the sanctuary, and just as the organ begins to play the first notes of My God Is an Awesome God, Bobby realizes he has what doctors describe as a "raging boner." As Grandma unknowingly snaps a picture of what will be Bobby's most memorable hard-on, Bobby comes to the conclusion that God doesn't exist.
Bond films are famous for their action sequences, most of which require grueling stunt work. Here are the seven best single stunts that were all done by actual humans with no tricks or the benefit of CGI.
7- Diamonds are Forever
Sean Connery was paid a gigantic sum of money to play Bond after he left the role following You Only Live Twice; too bad Diamonds Are Forever couldn't have been better. However, the movie did have a sweet stunt where Bond ramps his Mustang on two wheels in order to escape police in Las Vegas. This same stunt was done, but with a tanker truck, in License to Kill.
Watch the stunt on YouTube!
OMGLists celebrates its first anniversary this week! In order to pay the occasion justice, we've picked 5 anniversary episodes that were way more entertaining than the typical "husband forgets the date" plot thread.
5- The Simpsons- "Natural Born Kissers"
Homer and Marge Simpson
How it went wrong:
After a subpar anniversary dinner at Up, Up, And Buffet, Homer and Marge realize the magic has disappeared from their marriage. That magic is found when the couple is almost caught sneaking into a barn during a thunderstorm, and the animated couple realize they have a shared exhibitionist fetish, which is later tested when a semi-public tryst is discovered.
It's been said that the James Bond movies are only as strong as their villains. Considering that some of the goriest deaths in the series come from the main villain executing his own henchmen (whether it's via piranha, sharks, compression chambers and the like), the head villains seem to get off easy. Sometimes, however, 007 gives them exactly what they deserve. Here are the nine grisliest ways that Bond's main antagonists have met their demise.
9- The World is Not Enough (1999)
Bond (Pierce Brosnan) mixes it up with terrorist-anarchist Renard (Robert Carlyle) in a nuclear submarine. As Renard prepares to move the last rod into position that will launch a nuclear missile, Bond re-routes the pressure so the rod is forcefully expelled, thus impaling the villain.
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